The reason I paint: permission amnesia

I thought I knew why I paint: because it is the best way to quiet my busy mind. But I found out there’s a deeper reason.

I paint to remind myself I have the right to take up space. Literally. My house used to have post-it notes everywhere, little messages for myself:

• You deserve to rest

• It’s okay to say no

• You are just as good as anyone else

Now when I ask myself why I made a specific painting, the reason is exactly the same as why I had those notes around me: to remind myself I’m allowed to rest, say no, be myself. That’s why I have my own art in my living room and art studio.

I need those reminders close to me, because of my Permission Amnesia.

Permission Amnesia is a diagnosis I invented for my tendency to forget that I have permission to rest, say no, take up space,... (the list goes on.) I guess my head is so full of… stuff, that I forget the important things.

One of the best aspect of being an artist is when someone tell me that they love a certain painting because it reminds them to be kind to themselves. And that made me think.

As a child I loved playing office. Filling in “documents”, putting a stamp on them, and filing them in a neat folder just made me happy. And ever since I’ve been a business owner, I wanted a stamp with my logo. There wasn’t really a reason to get one though, because most of administration happens online. Now I’m happy to report that I have found a great reason to get my own stamp! Meet my new side-project: Permission Slips.

I’m no authority whatsoever. The only person I need to grant permission is me. But I thought I might not be the only person suffering from Permission Amnesia. So I printed lots of little documents, granting the recipient permission. Obviously they need to be filled out (with an old-fashioned ink pen), and they need a stamp to make it real.

In a brave moment I thought I would hand them out to strangers, but that bravery quickly dissolved, and the only way I have been distributing them is on social media and in library books. But maybe you would like one?

Tell me: what is it you would like permission to be, feel, do? I’ll send you your own permission slip, just as a little reminder that you have the right to give yourself permission.